Most people like this thing they call "stability" and I dont really have anything against it, it is just too boring and predictable. Stability doesnt make your bood pump, it fails to make you feel the thrill of life and most of the time you feel like you are repeating yourself over and over.
A flower by your bed becomes a sorry indication of a new morning as you struggble to open your eyes and face the new dawn before you. Breathing becomes a task on its own, making it seem voluntary rather than involuntary. Dont get me wrong I do want to live and have some kind of structure as well, but I dont want to die or rather become a living zombie within this structure. I dont want to regret anything and I dont want to hate myself. I dont want to find myself at the age of 80 and incapable of telling interesting stories about my life. I want to live my life, and I dont want to die within it as well. That's all.