I am writing and wondering at the same time about how this post should be, and what I really want to write in this very moment.
I want to write about letting myself down, being weak and betraying my life. I have this deep sensation that I keep wrecking my life and that every moment I spend has gone into wasting my precious time on earth; my thoughts aren't right, my preferences are confused, I have gone through the stages of my life much like a tornado through a corn field, destroying everything and leaving nothing behind [Think Twister, the movie starring Helen Hunt].
At the end of the day a Tornado is nothing special, it's something that we dislike, we fear, we wonder about, but mainly we just stay out of it's way, because you never know what will happen.
I wasn't always like that; there was a time when I was more of vaccum, in another stage of my life I was a simple uneventful breeze; the one you kinda of appreciate, but don't really care about and then there was the thunder storm, which wasn't the best stage of my life and was very long and tiring, which was intensely followed by the monsoon season. Once the monsoon was over, the tropical heat came; boring, lengthy and you feel like killing yourself.
So, right now I am a tornado and I don't really know what I should be or what I want to be, but just as silence precedes and follows me, confusion closely follows.