Thursday, October 09, 2008

The one

His best friend betrayed him and the astounding thing is that his friend didn't even realize it, or even let it cross his mind. It wasn't an actual action that he did, but rather the way he's changed and became another person, the way he gave into the twisted and let go of the simple. He has ceased to be the person he'd spent his childhood with and part of his adulthood; he became an unrecognizable character within the form of a person he used to count as a lifetime friend.It wasn't that he was shocked, it's just that he didn't expect it, not from him, not from the person who shared every single idea in his head, the one who dove into danger with him, the one who was him in a different way.
Life had given him a thick skin, which made it easy for him to let it slide, to fade away into a sea of oblivion and to forget that anyone ever existed in this stage of his life. He moved on and it scared him how quickly he'd done it and whether he's ceased to be human. For the first time in his life, the loneliness he felt all through his life, became a deadening feeling of insipidness, a nauseating sense of detachment and an unyielding apathy. It has become so hard for him to believe in the good of humans, in the wonderfulness of people, in the hope that children bring and the promising future of anyone. His other superficial friends called him "The terminator", while the girls he knew in his life dubbed him as "insensitive", as they ran away crying for their lost youths in his undeserving company.
He only felt like himself again when he took out the yacht his father had left him and sailed in the sea without a known direction, at times he'd stop in the middle of nowhere and just sit, watching the tiny waves crash at the edge of the boat. He'd jump into the water with a harpoon and fish the way he was taught by his late militant grandfather and emerge with a huge smile on his face, proud of his accomplishment that would count as dinner. Lately, his life had become a string of work related events and yacht outings, he'd become uninterested in the fake life others lead and had become judgmental despite himself.
After his parents' death, he'd become the sole caretaker of his younger siblings and he managed to raise them from unsettled teenagers into capable adults, he even made sure each of them had her own independent life and watched them excel in many ways. They were his only family and he loved them dearly although people never knew how much, but he only cared for them; as long as they understood, then everybody else can just go to hell.
He leaned back in the plastic chair, a guava juice in his hand and listened carefully to the sound of the sea as it reassured him that he was the same old person he always was; that it was people and life from around him that kept changing, that he was the consistent one, the decisive existence, the complete human, the one which the sea trusts. He thought proudly of himself, but couldn't help, but wonder why it was so hard to accept the emptiness inside if he was so complete. In the comfort of the sea and the relief of individuality, he permitted a single persisting tear to roll down his cheek from behind his sunglasses. At the time he was standing at the edge of the boat, the tear rolled down his cheek, holding for dear life on his chin, but soon fell to its destined death in the sea, to join the tears of many others betrayed by humanity in the ocean of life.
It was the last tear of his life that counted the last day in his life, he was remembered as a loving brother, a loyal friend, an adventurous soul, a devoted son and a whole human being.

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