News bulletin: Cell news on the hour every hour.
The president of the united cells have declared that things are going to be rough during the coming period, as we start losing our biggest ally, brains-ville.
Lately, the king of brains-ville have fell ill with a mysterious undiagnosable condition; making all experts sent by many other cellates such as limbs republic and united heart, deem the king to be on the verge of a serious health crisis. Although experts say that there is nothing materialistically wrong with the king, it appears that he is incapable of response or creativity. The condition has been going on for 3 weeks and expected to continue on longer, as the king shows no sign of recovery.
Residents of brains-ville express their concern with the following report from our own office in brains-ville, writing-center:
Residents of brains-ville have become incapable of producing anything new for the past few weeks as their king suffers from a condition that the experts of the cellate world have deemed impossible to diagnose and hence to treat. As we take to the grooves of brains-ville, we ask the residents to express their views on the matter. A 20 year old resident, who's one of brains-ville oldest said, "During all my life in brains ville, we never had such a case, even through the unfortunate case of hurricanes we went through during the past 5 years, our king has always been sound and effective. He was the reason for us to continue", another 1-year old resident expressed her views, saying "I fear for our future, what are we going to do? I work in the creativity center and soon we're going to shut down. I don't know what to do."
These two views express the views of hundreds of thousands of residents at brains-ville, as they watch in silence the degradation of their hometown.
Back to our office in united-cells.
Quite a comprehensive report, thanks to our colleagues at brains-ville.
On the other hand, the prime minister of brains-ville has declared full alert and said that their hometown is in state of emergency, he assured residents that measures are being taken to solve the situation and no expense has been spared. He also advised the residents to continue doing their intended roles and to consult their nearest emergency center if any problems arise, or in case they don't know their roles, especially new residents.
In what to be a serious of very unfortunate events, the south of brains-ville has been struck by an earthquake yesterday, and although it scaled at 6 cellters, no major damage has occured, thanks to the drills that have been done during more peaceful time. Yet, some structures have been removed and others were fortified as experts expect more earthquakes on the way, responding to the shifting of the earth's cortex. Residents of south of brains-ville are advised to remain calm and to tune in to channel 7 for more information on what to do during such events.
It's definitely a first of its kind, our prayers extend to the king and residents of brains-ville as we hope for a full recovery. God be with you in every step.
That conculdes our bulletin, thanks for watching. Good night.