Nothing

Neither Chocolate nor coffee,

Not even lovingly-made toffee,

Or crispy apple pie,

Or even a funny-looking tie,

Neither can a joke,

Nor a well-timed poke,

Or a cup of hot tea,

Or a soft yet crunchy pea,

Not a jolly old song,

Or licorice that's ten meter long,

Not even a tickle,

Or a good cucumber pickle,

Can make me smile,

I even tried walking for a mile,

But still on my face there's a frown,

And reigning my heart is a sad crown,

Sometimes a kitten does the trick,

Especially when it's 50 centimeters thick,

But kittens are hard to come by,

So to this option I have to say Bye Bye.