Avoiding

I avoid a lot of things that make no sense or that are just too neurotic to handle, I avoid getting emotional, I avoid caring about the world and avoid becoming human.
All is fine, all is great because that's how I want to live. Yet, I've discovered that I also avoid success, don't know why, but I do.
I do everything opposite to what I truly want and then say to myself, just this once because of blah blah blah. Days later, weeks later , months later and years later I discover that I did the most stupid thing in the world and that this decision led me down a very hard and twisted road, a complete detour from where I want to be.
I'm trying to face this, but it actually grows on you and as they say "Old habits die hard"
So, to old habits, may they part our worlds as swiftly as they came and may we never miss them or long for them.