Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A commitment to life

A couple of days ago I had one my profound conversations with my father; we were talking about the problems of the young generation, meaning my own problems. My father said that we don't have any goals, that we are lost, confused and incapable of finding our place in the equation of life. He told me that even though they were raised during harsh times; the revolution and its privatization (where they had officers come into their homes and steal their belongings, arrest their brothers and take their property by force), the 67 war, the Israeli occupation of Sinai,and the 73 war,etc... Despite all the trouble they have been through, they had goals, dreams and aspirations, and that we don't.
I respond saying, "I think dreams are overrated." and my father laughs, or rather smirks at me. My father is a logical, no nonsense man, he's greatly analytical and smart, capable of predicting a situation before it even starts to happen. So, hearing him talk of dreams was a bit shocking. My father and dreams? Who knew?
He then told me that it was part of our injustice; we were brought up to fear and to expect the worst to happen. We were raised in a country that worsens everyday and we have grown to expect the deterioration. This resulted in the eradication of our optimism and pessimism prevailed instead.
He said even though we have been brought up in a world of technological advancements,with many options to choose from, we are incapable of committing to a goal. We fear its loss and we don't trust that we'll be capable of reaching it. We don't feel secure in our own environment and we distrust everyone around us.

I listen to him, but I am not really convinced. I say so what if I don't dream? So what if I don't have goals? I am living life as it comes, isn't that the epitome of freedom?

Then the 25th of January happens with all its confusion, determination, passion and uproar. Thousands of people take to the streets for the sake of change. Some try to exploit them for fame, others pray for them and then there are those who believe that it is all hokum.

I didn't participate in the demonstrations, because I was afraid... I still am.

Then today, on my way to the university, I realize that my fear wasn't from only the demonstration. I realize, that I, like many of us, are afraid to commit to life. We are afraid to love life lest it fails us again as it had many time before. We are afraid of it rejecting us. I realize that my fear of commitment runs deeper than I thought. I work and learn, but I am not committed, deeply rooted, to anything. I expect my work to go away any second, and that my education could get interrupted for any reason, and so I prepare myself for the loss by not really caring.


I realize that we do the same with our lives; we expect it getting sour and losing it any moment in time, and so we reject it before it rejects us. Our lack of commitment to life makes us afraid and the way this country has been run feeds this fear and this lack of commitment. We are not given any reasons to feel the potential of the country we live in, we are not given reasons to feel our own potential, instead, we feel run down, incapable, weak and alone. They want us to believe that we are not worth anything and that all we are doing is irrelevant. We are just little kids playing, some ants they are going to crush, but we are not.


WE ARE WORTH A LOT.

We deserve a country that doesn't make you incapable of living and committing to potential of what God gave us. We are worth a place in which we are heard and conversed with. We are worth a place where people smile and greet each other, knowing that the day will be good, that all days will be good.

We need to be committed to that change, and swear to a commitment to life; we are worth that much.

4 comments:

doniazad79 said...

I agree with you, having dreams is the fuel for our souls in order to enjoy life...

Remya said...

Your father's a wise man, and his daughter is even smarter.
You what's the most striking statement? The one that you emphasised the most on-
"We are worth a lot"

Yes, we don't deserve the pathetic situation that our parents generation has unknowingly or unconsciously passed on over to us. But then, when you talk about dreams.. Dreams don't have a value without the hardship. Its essence is lost without obstacles.
So even if they've passed a tough life on to us, the one fusion between the realization that "We're worth a lot" and our dreams will create a better life.
A life which, when we review, is going to sound worth living to our own ears.
Take care :)

Monica said...

really touched my heart...
keep ur worth, and love our Egypt...the one we try to create for us!

Juli said...

If you stop dreaming you have merely strengthened your limits - for true 'freedom' you might have to dream bigger!
I wish you peace of mind

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