Thursday, January 07, 2010

Without a battle

With every passing second I felt my resolve weaken more and more and my will to fight floundered to the point of nonexistence, it seemed I was in the wrong battlefield. As I clutched my gilded sword for dear life from it's engraved ruby handle, a stone my mother gave me before her death; a symbol of valor and bravery, I felt like I was a newborn baby, unprotected, unknowing and brought into a world I know nothing about.
It was just minutes ago that I was running with my mates, fully armored, heart beating, battle cries involuntarily torn from my throat while my brain shouted "Victory or death", towards the right flank of our enemies. Yet, now here I am standing in the middle of no where, a foggy land with no sign of life. I could have sworn that seconds ago I was about to clash into one of our enemies' cavalry, the horse's flaring nose was inches from my face, while the anger of his rider radiated in waves to engulf me within their whirlpool of death, which only strengthened my resolve. Where am I? I can barely see in front of me and I can't even breathe as the air is ridden with humidity causing my lungs to heave, straining to find sustenance. The heat is making me dizzy and I can't focus. Why am I here and how did I come here? Why am I not where I am supposed to be, fighting next to my mates?? Is it justice for my purpose in this world to be taken away in such an abrupt method?
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I don't know how long I have been walking in this strange land, but it must have been hours and yet there is no change in the diffused light around me or the weather. There are no animals, insects or humans nor food or water. I have sweated all the liquid out of my body and I feel as dry as a desert floor in the middle of the hottest summer days. I just wish I knew why this has happened to me, when I was seconds away from fulfilling my destiny.
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It must be night time now, because I can't see anything, whatever poor vision I had hours ago is now completely gone. My body has collapsed on the floor from exhaustion, I don't think I can make it any longer, and maybe I don't want to go on any longer, nothing is making sense and the sweet release of death seems appealing. I don't want to sleep, because it will only restore my body's energy, but the exhaustion is straining against my eyes and my eyelids are surrendering.
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Searing pain is flooding though out my body, but my leg seems to be the one mostly affected by it. I don't want to open my eyes, I just want it all to end, but the pain is unbearable. Ants are feasting on my leg; the appearance of some kind of life has given me a faint sense of hope, but I don't know if I have enough strength to stand up or even to drive the ants away. My hand is still clutching my sword and I could feel the ruby beneath my fingertips; memories of my mother, frail, sickly and slipping away comes to my mind's eye, I remember her last words to me as she gave me the ruby "All our love is in you now, you have to carry it to the people and victory will be yours." Tears begin forming in my eyes, how can fate be so cruel? The ants are moving to my other leg. I feel like I am drifting again.
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I have no hope, I have no way out, my body is limp and filled with wounds from the insects feeding on it. Something is moving near my legs, but I can't see it, but it's a big creature, definitely not an insect. I think I hear growling, it must be a dog. I can see it now, it's a wolf, his snout is right above my face, he looks so strong and beautiful with eyes so blue you'd think you're looking into the sky. I am actually petting him and he's not doing anything to stop me, he is lowering his head onto the ground while his paws are extended on the ground, it's almost as if he's bowing to me. He's looking into my face now, I understand now, his gaze says it all; God has sent me my salvation. I solemnly nod to the wolf and close my eyes for the last time, my sweet salvation has come at last.

1 comment:

ibhog said...

I really loved this post.

Please keep up, Sina :)

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