Random thoughts on life

I have been reading a lot about other people's lives, especially historical figures and academic people, in an attempt to attain clues regarding what I should do with my own life. I have yet to find a life that truly intrigues me or a career for that matter. I have been calling myself a writer during the past year, but I don't think I am a writer; writing is a tool of expression, not an objective. I don't live to write, I write to live. So, I am going to stop calling myself a writer, but I will continue to write, although I haven't been writing much lately. I have also eliminated the possibility of an academic career, I don't like it for unexplained reasons. Well, that's that. It is a bit disconcerting because I thought this might be it, but I guess I just have to keep looking.
My friends laugh at my identity crisis; they are unable to understand why I suffer from one, and neither do I. However, I dont think I suffer from an identity crisis; I know who I am, but I just don't know how to be. So, maybe I should call it an exestential crisis. Or is it the same as an identity crisis?

I am thinking of spending my summer reading the works of Jane Austen(guilty of never reading her novels ), and I am quite eager since I am going to take a course discussing her work next semester isA. Anyone interested in Jane Austen book club over the summer (yes, triggered by novel/movie)?