And Suddenly

And Suddenly I am bombarded with overly religious, archaic, anti-feminist, stupid, unforgiving and annoying opinions and thoughts. Suddenly, I see all those people I had never seen before, and I realize that if I didn't belong before, I certainly don't belong now.

I realize that my identity crisis has been minute in comparison to the disasters I keep discovering. I realize that there is no place in this existence for the like of me, and despite the fact that I have been saying this my whole life, I've never really believed it... till now.

I realized that I have been taught a certain lifestyle in the hopes that I would shed it in the future. I realized that all the sophistication in the world means nothing since we still think in cavemen concepts. I realized that equality is a forgotten and lost concept. I realized that those I trusted don't trust me back. I realized the hypocrisy of people I've known my whole life, and the superficiality of those I've just come to know. I realized the two extremes that prevail, and how I reject them both. I've realized that people pollute every good thought to suit their own twisted purposes. I've realized the cruelty of people when you're not on their side, the absurdity of men, and the subordination of others.

I have realized that I have been slave to many concepts I reject, and it makes me mad.
I have realized that the knowledge I have been avoiding confirmed everything I have been fearing.

So, suddenly, I am tiny, alone, distant, and yet not far away enough.