A sweet mistake

She looked at him and wondered what it is about him that made her feel that way; he was nothing special, he was neither handsome nor insanely rich, he was intelligent at times but completely dumb at other times. She was sure that in time she would be able to meet other men; more handsome, successful, manly, rich, but would any of them make her feel that same way and is it important that she feels this way? Was it integral for healthy living or was it just a luxury that she could easily live without as they say "the cherry on top"; she liked the cherry, no, she adored it, in fact sometimes she even desires it, but she wouldn't die if it wasn't there, she wouldn't cease to exist. She figured that she liked the way he made her feel, she wanted it, but she didn't really need it, it was a welcome addition, a sweet sensation, a delicious extra...and she had to admit, she didn't want it to end. For some reason, she craved his existence in her life, and it wasn't about seeking approval or wanting to be desired or any of this teenage sensations; she just wanted him to be there, doing nothing in particular, but there, standing in the middle of her lifeline, making it sweeter to exist.

She knew they weren't the greatest fit; it wasn't that they were different; it was that they were the same, and too much the same with minor differences; they were tempermental and obstinate, eccentric, dangerously adventurous and emotionally retarded and they both behaved like children sometimes. On the other hand, he wasn't tall enough, she wasn’t thin enough, he was too ambitious, she wasn't a nester, she was eccentrically crazy and he was traditionally fanatical. Conclusion: they weren’t a match made in heaven. It was impossible, irrational to be together, they wouldn’t survive for 5 minutes. She knew it, but she kept looking at him, she kept smiling, she kept feeling elated by his presence. It wasn’t over for her, although some part of her wanted it to be, she hated the fact that he had that great effect on her, that he could transform her day completely by one phrase or one action; she despised herself for letting him.

He was an addiction, just like her addiction to caffeine and chocolate; she’s always had an addictive personality, but caffeine could be substituted with de-caffeinated and Chocolate was to be substituted with dark sugar free chocolate, but what was his substitute? She wondered for how long would his hold continue and whether it will continue.

She looked at him again, sleeping, peaceful, her friend, the center of her attention, her husband, her sweet mistake…