Fear

Maybe I am not supposed to figure it out. I mean I have been trying for a month or so and have been through all the stages of grief; denial,anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance(obviously).
Everything in life seems really bland to me, nothing excites me except traveling(in or out the country), even writing has ceased to be anything special. I am sick of this feeling, but it seems to be overtaking my mind and I can do nothing but maybe accept the fact that maybe I am not supposed to figure it out, maybe everything is just the way it is just because and there's no real explanation.

I am afraid of losing interest in life. I don't want to go back to these thoughts, because they suck...big time. or maybe I am just afraid. I don't know.