Friday, September 24, 2010

What women want

I have witnessed a lot of friends suffering in their relationships, in addition, a lot of the girls don't want to speak out or say to their partners what they really need in a relationship. They say that men should know on their own, which I believe is very impractical.

I have debated within me whether I should write this post, however I believe that although a relationship is not something I seek, that this post will help others and maybe end some man-woman quarrel.

Please note dear reader that this post expresses my personal opinion and some women might require different things. That being said, I would also like to point out that this is a post that describes the desires of women who fall for men, not girls for boys(interpret it as you wish). In addition, this post is compiled from situations I have witnessed, conversations or general observations.

However, dear reader, I must set the context first, which is the type of woman you're dealing with.

This fair lady is surprisingly old fashioned and modern as well, I know this is confusing, but most women who are independent, but still retain virtue as their compass, will likely be both traditional and nontraditional at the same time. That same woman is an intellectual, who's farthest from being a feather head as angels to hell. She will not feign ignorance, nor will she stifle her voice, but she will bow before a convincing argument, for although she has fallen prisoner to love, she still retains logic as her savior. She has within her boundless amounts of kindness that she will gladly share with those she deems worthy. She is not a trusting person, yet it takes but one situation to prove to her that you are trust worthy. She will not seek you out nor vie for your affection as she is a woman of great pride, but she will respond to your attempts with grace and eloquence. So, without further ado my dear reader, I reveal to you what women really want,

Taking action; our fair lady reveres a man who will take action when needed. Those types of men who let situations play out fearing their involvement don't impress her. However, she likes a man who knows when to take charge of the situation, turning end results in his favor.
Intellect; she adores a man who can think for himself, with whom she can have passionate debates and interesting conversations. He is one who keeps up with the world's events, reads and forms opinions. She wouldn't care for him if he fakes his intellect or if he's too arrogant about it. His confidence speaks oodles of it and so he doesn't need to boast and show off.

Gestures; she doesn't like the grand expensive ones that objectify women, but rather the small personal ones that show that you care. For instance, bringing her soup when she's sick, trying to make her laugh when she's upset, etc... These small things show that you care for her well being.
Freedom; she needs her man to acknowledge her Independence and refrain from suffocating her with fear and jealousy. However, she also expects his support and attention when needed. She needs to know that when all else fails, her man will not. She needs him to be there for her even if she doesn't ask. Always remember, just because she might not need you all the time, doesn't mean that she doesn't appreciate your existence in her life.

Sharing; she expects that you will share with her everything; the trouble, happiness, responsibility, etc... Neither one of you will leave the other to handle any one of life's transitions alone.

Other women; she acknowledges the lust within you, but she will not tolerate you being unfaithful or insensitive. She will not condone you lustfully looking at others in her presence. If the love between you cease(since love sometimes die) and you find yourself seeking others, then you should go to her first, tell her of your drifting and she will agree to part ways, after all she's a reasonable woman.

Children; her existence is not connected to motherhood. She acknowledges her Independence as a person from the gift of life God had bestowed upon her. She might want to be a mother or she might not, don't make assumptions(or think she's a breeding machine), ask her.

Romance; she doesn't want honeyed words or sensitive men. Your romance will show through the way you act, so don't waste your time with public displays of affection. However, a nice dinner(involving actual food, yes, she eats) every now and then will be appreciated. And remember, always complement her shoes.

Humor; she doesn't expect you to be the class clown, but a nice clean joke is a nice way to break the ice. She hates a man who pouts and who fails to enjoy his time. She hates a man who's always in a bad mood and who can't take things lightly. She wants someone who will relieve her stress, not increase it.

Generalization; it might be one of men's greatest sins against women. Each woman is unique and different, to truly love her is to get to know her without making assumptions. General rules will not apply to our fair lady, so make no mistakes, if you don't know, don't assume, find out.

I believe that I have covered the basics, so remember, always be kind, attentive, assertive and gentle. Don't ever raise your voice to her or try to hurt her with your words, she will never forgive you for it. Treat her the way you would like her to treat you and for the love of God, get to know her.

12 comments:

doniazad79 said...

I totally agree with you,women want considerate men who will be attentive to the woman's thoughts and aspirations and not too self involved in themselves.

deppy said...

That was such a good read :)

I might add,

• Forgive her craziness sometimes
• Let her feel she's needed
• Reassure her

Menna said...

I love how you described the type of girl that would require such treatment and did not generalize, and how you were spot on :)
I agree with Deppy when it comes to forgiving her unintentional craziness and outbursts.

Shimaa Gamal said...

hats off to you :)

Mindfull said...

As always well written, and as usual I can't resist.

A few points:

1. Women excel at communication. Be it complaining, or voicing what they want. This is all well and good, but its men that lack in this department.

2. I'd like to see a woman take this communication talent to another level. Mainly, I'd like to see women voice what they will do, not only what they want done for them. (This is by no means directed at you personally, but the entire Female gender)

3. This is related to the point above, and again not directed at you, but I see a lot of women with what I call the "princess complex". That is, they elevate themselves on a pedestal and "command" and expect men to bow to their every whim. Again, give before you can get.

P.S. I admit I'm less than optimistic about relationships because of personal experiences, but I think the above points still stand.

Sina said...

Donia: Agreed :D

Deppy: Happy you enjoyed reading it ;)

I don't really agree with the second point,but this proves my point, each woman is unique :)

Menna: Glad you liked it :)
The woman should also deal with his outbursts as well.

Shimaa: You're too kind ya Fandem ;) thanks :D

Mindfull: Glad you read it and as always I welcome your points :D

1. Most women talk a lot without really making a point, which is not very effective when dealing with men. I think when talking to a man you should be short and precise so that he gets the point. Men on the other side are sometimes too lazy to make a point so they remain silent.

2. I don't really understand what you mean by "do", but if you mean what they offer to contribute to a relationship, well, this is different in every couple and they should agree together on what both parties will bring to the union. You have to think of it as a contract that involves sacrifice, not all of us are willing to sign such a contract.

3. Those princesses fall under the "girls" section and are not covered in this post. A woman that she has to give as well as take in a relationship.

Most people are not trusting because they have been hurt or they're afraid to be hurt. However this doesn't mean that there aren't good people out there, they're just hard to find. The rotten eggs midst the crowd makes us all less optimistic.

Sina said...

ooh, friends of mine want to know what men want, I would really be interested in your point of view ya Mindfull :D

Maybe you can write a post about the subject?

Maxxed`ouT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maxxed`ouT said...

Well SHE sounds like a handful!

Sina said...

She's an acquired taste.

Ze2red said...

That was amazingly written.

I'm saving this IN CASE one day i got to find Mr. right, this will be his mini manual ;)

Sina said...

You flatter me and LOL @ mini manual :D

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