Moving

As 2018 came to a close, I scrolled through social media to see some people post pictures of their party preparations, others gave a thorough recap of the year, and some posted their wishes for the new year. At work, our boss asked us what our resolutions were. I had themes not resolutions and I usually don't like to share them with people. I said that I wanted to do more yoga, which was true, but hardly a resolution and more of an intention. 

On New Year's eve, it was raining profusely. I had been working all week, and so I was exhausted thanks to the long working hours and fighting off the remainder of the flu I had the week before. As the clouds merged together, threatening to ruin party plans, I walked the busy streets of the city filled with people rushing to buy last-minute items. I too had to purchase something, a big bag to fit the rest of my belongings because I was moving on the first day of 2019.

This was the fourth time I moved in less than 6 months. 

It is difficult to give a recap of the year because for the past four years I have been dealing with my anxiety. 2018 was the culmination of that hard work. It took me two years just to admit that I needed help and another year to feel human and a couple of months to decide what I needed to do. However, I can undoubtedly say that the theme for 2018 was moving. 

2018 was the year I moved towards better mental health by not waiting for things to become disastrous to seek help. It was the year I moved towards trusting others and myself. It was the year that I literally moved to so many cities and neighborhoods. It was the year that I rode trains, cars, ferries and planes all for the sake of ridding myself of that thought "you are not enough". It was the year I moved my belongings to strangers' houses and met their loved ones and pets. It was the year I moved towards being more forgiving and being more helpful. It was the year I moved towards being more myself. It was the year I was moved by the beauty of nature, life and architecture. It was the year I removed my self-inflicted judgement to allow myself to feel whatever I needed to feel. 

It was also the year I moved slowly towards achieving my unrealistic dreams without knowing the purpose of it all. 

It was also the year that I shared more of my cooking and culture with strangers, some of them becoming friends. I grew to appreciate Egyptian cuisine more as I started teaching myself more and more of our delicious dishes. Our cuisine might not be the most sophisticated, but it's definitely heart-warming and comforting. 

In closing, 2018 was a year that moved me towards places that I never thought I would reach. It was a challenging year, but definitely a fulfilling one.

The city of Torshavn, Faroe Islands.